Today on the podcast we are joined by Danielle Harel, Ph.D and Celeste Hirschman. They are the cofounders of the Somatica Institute of Sex and Relationship Coaching.

Danielle Harel received her Ph.D. and Doctorate degree in Human Sexuality from The Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco. She has a graduate degree in Clinical Social Work and a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and Educational Counseling. Celeste Hirschman received her Master’s Degree in Human Sexuality Studies from San Francisco State University and her Bachelor’s Degree in Women’s Studies at the University of California at Santa Cruz.

In their teaching, Danielle and Celeste connect with unconditional love, erotic energy, and presence to help their students and clients deepen their insight on self-awareness. They’ve also coauthored the books Making Love Real and Cockfidence, and this episode they share more about the importance of vulnerability and empathy in relationships, and how to be more mindful in your sex life. We also dive into ways to work through shame and fully embrace your sexual desires and fantasies without feeling judged. For an incredibly insightful conversation, be sure to tune in to today’s episode!

Key Points From This Episode

• The story of how Danielle and Celeste met, and founded the Somatic Institute.
• Somatica: an experiential approach to sexuality and relationships.
• Importance of vulnerability for having a good sex life.
• Most common reasons why we often struggle to be vulnerable with our partners.
• How mindfulness plays a role in having better sex.
• Advice for couples who want to develop mindfulness.
• Learning to have embodied empathy when it comes to your relationship.
• Understanding how to process shame and embrace your sexuality.
• Key elements of a healthy relationship: attachment and individuation.

Tweetables

“The more that we can be vulnerable about our deepest desires and longings, the more that we can give each other the most hot, fulfilling sex.” — Celeste Hirschman [0:08:32]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode

Danielle Harel — https://www.celesteanddanielle.com/about-danielle/

Celeste Hirschman — https://www.celesteanddanielle.com/about-celeste/

Website — https://www.celesteanddanielle.com/

Somatica Institute of Sex and Relationship Coaching — https://www.somaticainstitute.com/

Making Love Real — https://www.amazon.com/Making-Love-Real-Intelligent-Intimacy/dp/0692525483

Cockfidence — https://www.amazon.com/Cockfidence-Definitive-Guide-Being-Driving-ebook/dp/B004SV2DKC

On the show today we are joined by Dr. Adam Mathews. Dr. Mathews is a licensed marriage and family therapist with over 15 years of experience working with couples and families. He’s an adjunct professor for both North Central University and Piper University and he’s also the cohost of the popular podcast, Foreplay Radio Sex Therapy. Currently, Dr. Mathews also serves as president of the North Carolina Association of Marriage and Family Therapists.

In this episode we’ll be discussing the five sex conversations every couple needs to have to improve their sex life and address the regular problems that persist in relationships when sex is MIA or when your partner isn’t comfortable talking about it. Who better to talk on the subject of sex in relationships than the expert, Dr. Mathews!

Highlights

• How Dr. Mathews came to be a therapist and started Foreplay Read Sex Therapy.
• Why some couples intentionally avoid difficult conversations about sex.
• Why when conflict grows: disconnection grows and your sex life follows suit.
• The first initial steps, what leads people to therapy and how to uncover the problem.
• What emotional and sexual disconnection does to your relationship.
• The right approach when you want to initiate the ‘sex’ conversation.
• Owning your part in it and focusing on one thing at a time.
• Laying off the pressure when making new requests.
• The “My parents did what?” conversation: what your family was like about sex.
• The “I’ll have what she’s having” conversation: getting away from assumptions.
• The “Indianapolis 500” conversation: what puts us in the mood for sex.
• The “I have a headache” conversation: How to deal with rejection, when you’re not in the mood.
• How to politely honestly and politely say, “Hey just not tonight”.
• The “The professor plum in the bedroom with the lights off” conversation.
• Not underestimating the soft skills: communication and how it can bring connection.
• And so much more!

Tweetables

“Just never force a sex conversation on somebody if they don’t want to have it.” — @MathewsCounsel [0:13:17.1]

“Sex is the ultimate expression of love and connection.” — @MathewsCounsel [0:16:38.1]

“You mention the soft skills and I think that is what they are and I would just say, don’t underestimate the power of this stuff.” — @MathewsCounsel [0:35:33.1]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode

Dr. Adam Mathews — https://mathewscounseling.net/

Dr. Mathews on Twitter — https://twitter.com/MathewsCounsel

Dr. Mathews on LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/dradammathews

Dr. Mathews on Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/dradammathews/

Foreplay Read Sex Therapy —http://foreplayrst.com/

Today on the show I am talking to Dr. Laurie Mintz. She is a professor, author, speaker, and therapist. She teaches psychology of human sexuality to hundreds of undergraduate students annually and she has also authored two books, Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters — And How to Get It, along with A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex.

Inside this episode, Laurie shares her findings on the orgasm gap that exists in relationships and why that often starts at the beginning of a sex ed program. We also dive into the importance of self-discovery and understanding what works best for you as an individual, and then communicating that to your partner. Finally, we bust some of society’s myths about sex and Laurie shares her take-home advice that women can implement in their sexual journeys today.

So if you want to learn all of Laurie’s incredible secrets to experience orgasms during sex, don’t miss out on today’s episode!

Highlights

• Laurie’s background and how she came to teach psychology of human sexuality.
• How the orgasm gap inspired Laurie to write Becoming Cliterate.
• Understanding why there is so much ignorance about female sexual pleasure.
• The effective strategy of sex education in the Netherlands.
• First steps a woman can take to increase her “cliteracy”.
• How to incorporate yourself; a journey of self-discovery.
• Why sexual communication can really go a long way.
• Getting rid of the myth that sex should be spontaneous.
• Approaching your partner about introducing new ideas into your sex life.
• Advice for women struggling to orgasm or struggling with low sexual desire.

Tweetables

“It’s truly, truly impossible to have an orgasm while you are worrying about something.” — @DrLaurieMintz [0:17:19]

“Mindfulness is putting your mind and body in the same place.” — @DrLaurieMintz [0:17:19]

“Communication is the bedrock to make your bed rock.” — @DrLaurieMintz [0:26:17]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode

Dr. Laurie Mintz — http://drlauriemintz.com/

Laurie on Twitter — https://twitter.com/drlauriemintz

Becoming Cliterate — https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Cliterate-Orgasm-Equality-Matters/dp/0062664557

A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex — https://www.amazon.com/Tired-Womans-Guide-Passionate-Sex/dp/1605501077

OMGYes — https://www.omgyes.com/

Calm — https://www.calm.com/

Head Space — https://www.headspace.com/

Today we are doing something a little different, which I think you will find pretty interesting…Instead of our regular guest, I am talking to a listener of the Bad Girls Bible Podcast to bring you a whole new perspective to all things relationships, and real world experiences.

So in this episode we welcome listener, Paige, to talk about her relationships and the struggles she’s faced, including dealing with her difficult mother-in-law and even finding out her husband had been texting his ex! Paige then goes on to talk about how she came through these relationship struggles to be in a better, happier place.

Whether you’re in a relationship or not, there is a lot to learn from our conversation and hopefully some inspiration too, especially if you’re facing your own relationships struggles.

If you’d like to tell your relationship story on the podcast, shoot me an email to sean@badgirlsbible.com

Highlights

• Hear more about who Paige is and how she met her husband.
• Getting proposed to after only 6 months of dating.
• What life was like for Paige between the proposal and the marriage.
• Dealing with the mother in law.
• Issues of jealousy early on in her marriage.
• Being a new mother and dealing with the frustrations that come with it.
• How Paige found out that her husband was talking to one of his exes.
• Getting on with depression - another baby and 5 years later.
• Going back to school and doing something for yourself.
• Finding your own happiness - having a positive mindset.
• How her marriage changed once she changed her mindset.
• The importance of developing your mindset.
• And much more!

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode

Bad Girls Bible — https://badgirlsbible.com/

Bad Girls Bible Facebook Page — https://www.facebook.com/badgirlsbible/