Casey Donatello is a married, non-monogamous author and podcast host who embraces the Hotwife lifestyle. She is passionate about supporting others on their journey to becoming more confident and unapologetic in their lives and their sexual choices. In today’s episode, she shares her process of recognizing and pursuing a relationship dynamic and sexual lifestyle that she finds most fulfilling. We also discuss how she found a partner who aligned with her vision for life and sex and how they deal with jealousy, communication, and rule-setting as they cultivate partner-sharing experiences. Casey also offers practical wisdom on entering the Hotwife lifestyle, pleasing your partner orally, and embracing all aspects of yourself through nudism, content creation, and fulfilling sexual encounters. Tune in to hear all this and more from today’s candid and sexually empowered guest!
Key Points From This Episode:
• An overview of Casey Donatello and her introduction to the Hotwife lifestyle.
• Her relationship journey leading up to her current marriage.
• Jealousy in the Hotwife lifestyle and how her dates are structured.
• Rule-setting and the feedback process.
• Tips for those looking to pursue a Hotwife lifestyle.
• Why it’s essential to share your sexual aspirations with a potential partner.
• Casey’s opinion on how to give your partner a good blow job!
• Advice for finding the confidence to talk dirty.
• Our guest weighs in on whether or not size matters.
• Advice for building confidence while riding your man.
• Why Casey doesn’t edit any of her content.
• How public nudism has supported Casey to find body confidence.
• Tips for women who are hoping to squirt.
• Casey’s complex journey into the lifestyle.
• The story behind Casey’s four books.
Quotes:
“[Hotwifing] is completely different than a regular threesome. Sometimes, it’s hard for people to understand how three people isn’t always the same equation. But it really isn’t.” [0:05:50]
“It’s like putting your relationship in a pressure cooker when you invite other people into your bed.” [0:08:26]
“There’s no right or wrong to what you are interested in. It’s just that you and your partner [have to] agree on it.” [0:19:06]
“A lot of times, people don’t want to talk about sex when they’re having sex, but that’s the best time.” [0:30:53]
“If you absolutely hate something or it hurts you, speak up! Don’t let somebody hurt your body because you don’t want to hurt their feelings.” [0:31:22]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Casey Donatello — https://caseydonatello.com/
Casey Donatello on Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/caseydonatello.official/
Casey Donatello on X — https://twitter.com/hotwifelife869/
In Bed Podcast — https://caseydonatello.com/in-bed-podcast/
In Bed with Strangers — https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CQT1R15/
Scarlet Surrenders — https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09PYX8DQB/
Scarlet Swings Higher — https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07RZVKQ3M/
Bad Girls Bible Newsletter — https://badgirlsbible.com/newsletter
Other Episodes You Might Enjoy:
#31 How To Fix A Sexless Marriage & Reignite Fiery Passion with Laurie Watson
https://badgirlsbible.com/31-how-to-fix-a-sexless-marriage-reignite-fiery-passion-with-laurie-watson
#34 The Secret To Reaching Orgasm During Sex with Laurie Mintz, Ph.D.
https://badgirlsbible.com/34-the-secret-to-reaching-orgasm-during-sex-with-laurie-mintz-ph-d
#29 Experience Squirting Orgasms with Female Orgasm Expert, Jason Julius
https://badgirlsbible.com/29-squirting-orgasms-real-foreplay-and-how-guys-can-last-longer-with-female-ejaculation-expert-jason-julius
What if your past didn’t have to dictate your future?
Esin Pinarli is a human behavior specialist offering psychotherapy to couples, using the Imago and Gottman methods in conjunction with emotional-focused therapy. She joins us to share her perspective on the deep-rooted beliefs behind our actions and reactions within the context of relationships.
We touch on how trauma affects us all, and common actions that trigger a trauma response within relationships. Tune in to hear how the support of a therapist can help everyone to unpack the experiences behind their trauma, how the four attachment styles impact our relationships, and how the pandemic has changed the way in which we relate to one another.
Esin also explains the role of our nervous system in creating connection and attachment, common reasons why couples become dissatisfied with their sex lives, and much more.
Key Points From This Episode:
• An introduction to Esin Pinarli’s counseling practice.
• Unpacking the buzzword, ‘trauma’, and how it affects all of us.
• Common actions that trigger a trauma response.
• The role of negativity bias.
• Advice for those seeking to address their trauma.
• How a therapist can support people as they unpack the experiences behind their trauma.
• The four attachment styles and how they impact our relationships.
• What the collective trauma of the pandemic has done to the state of attachment.
• Differentiating between introversion and the avoidant personality type.
• How codependency fits into attachment styles.
• Your nervous system’s role in creating connection and attachment.
• Why couples become dissatisfied with their sex lives.
• What effective communication might look like.
• Cultivating ‘the space between’ where intimacy exists within relationships.
• Simple solutions for the process addiction that comes from porn usage.
Quotes:
“People always think they have to qualify for trauma. Everybody has had a certain level of embedded trauma.” — Esin Pinarli [0:02:41]
“We should always be doing the work. There are just so many things in our subconscious that we are not aware of.” — Esin Pinarli [0:10:33]
“A therapist is somebody who will help you to make sense of what’s inside of you, and to untangle and unprocess that trauma so that it doesn’t dictate your future.” — Esin Pinarli [0:11:37]
“If you don’t have enough rupture and repair, you always end up feeling disconnected from your partner.” — Esin Pinarli [0:42:15]
“Not only do we have a dance with our romantic partners, a cadence and a rhythm, but there’s a space between us that is where the intimacy is.” — Esin Pinarli [0:43:13]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Esin Pinarli on Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/esinpinarli_lcsw/
Esin Pinarli on LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/esin-pinarli-73ab1722/
Eternal Wellness Counseling — https://www.eternalwellnesscounseling.com/
Codependent No More — https://www.amazon.com/Melody-Beattie-Codependent-Controlling-Yourself/dp/B004R125R4/
Bad Girls Bible Sex Tips Newsletter — https://badgirlsbible.com/newsletter
Other Episodes You Might Enjoy:
#31 How To Fix A Sexless Marriage & Reignite Fiery Passion with Laurie Watson
https://badgirlsbible.com/31-how-to-fix-a-sexless-marriage-reignite-fiery-passion-with-laurie-watson
#34 The Secret To Reaching Orgasm During Sex with Laurie Mintz, Ph.D.
https://badgirlsbible.com/34-the-secret-to-reaching-orgasm-during-sex-with-laurie-mintz-ph-d
#29 Experience Squirting Orgasms with Female Orgasm Expert, Jason Julius
https://badgirlsbible.com/29-squirting-orgasms-real-foreplay-and-how-guys-can-last-longer-with-female-ejaculation-expert-jason-julius